Leisure
Offbeat - 17 February 2012
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- Pierre Maré
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If not for the glitz and chocolate that the shopkeepers assure us is the currency of love, or lust as the case may be, Valentine’s Day could easily become money in an envelope.
Twenty will buy you a smile. One hundred will buy you a hug. The more you spend the more you get. The sliding scale of prices goes all the way up to a moment of happiness. Does this sound like a sex worker to you? I was thinking of Valentine’s Day, the way retailers see it.
As I get older, I become more conservative and dour. Valentine’s Day begins to fill me with resentment. So do Christmas and Easter. In the unwritten gospel of the grocer, if you want joy, you need to welcome the shopkeeper into your life, a companion at the table, on special days, in the bed.
Film Review - The River Murders
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- Gerry Hill
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This DVD Review has been generously sponsored by MR VIDEO, Puma Garage, Nelson Mandela Avenue, Klein Windhoek.
Outlet: MR VIDEO, Nelson Mandela Avenue
Film: The River Murders
Director: Rich Cowan
Screenplay: Steve Anderson
Players: Ray Liotta, Christian Slater
Genre: detective thriller
Rating: **
It is difficult to offer commendation rather than criticism of this film. Although the two principal actors have passed their prime and can no longer claim any position of note as A-list actors, I still assumed that lending their names and talents to this film was a recommendation of sorts.
It is difficult to do much when the basic storyline exceeds credibility so perhaps they were hampered from the start. However, even excessive storylines can be enhanced by a smart screenplay, which, unfortunately, was not the case here. As with many American films of this ilk, most of the characters – even the ones who looked prissy – constantly had a mouthful of feisty expletives of an unsavoury nature. In fact, there comes a stage when the number of expletives so weighs down the message that what the character says becomes virtually incomprehensible. One gathers that a character is angry but garners little beyond that.
Film Review - Jack and Jill
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- Gerry Hill
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Venue: Cine 4, Ster-Kinekor, Maerua Mall
Film: Jack and Jill
Director: Dennis Dugan
Screenplay: Steve Koran and Adam Sandler
Players: Adam Sandler; Katie Holmes; Al Pacino
Genre: Comedy
Rating: **½
When Shakespeare wrote a play about a woman (played by a man) who disguises herself as a man (and was a man) who then attracts another man, doubtless Elizabethan audiences rolled in the aisles roaring with laughter. When Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis tried to escape the Mafia by disguising themselves as women and hiding in the bosom of a female band in ‘Some like it Hot’’ this was very funny, not least of which because Jack Lemmon’s character attracted the attention of a wealthy man; the closest he came to physical intimacy in those days was to do the tango somewhat energetically with a rose in his mouth. It was also amusing because both Curtis and Lemmon made reasonably attractive females. When Robyn Williams plays a woman in the comedy ‘Mrs Doubtfire’, half the humour arose from the fact that his female persona was physically hideous and the broad Scottish accent made the teeth curl. Who can forget the scene in the kitchen when his frying pan ignites and scorches his falsies?
Offbeat - 10 February 2012
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- Pierre Maré
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The street where I write this from is really quite nice as well, it just doesn’t have any amusing dope dealers trying to hide behind the lamp poles when they see me, like on Long Street, which, in a way, makes it even nicer.
Regular readers of this column will know that I am hooked on comics. I have probably mentioned comic writer Grant Morrison. He’s a bit like Stan Lee: well respected, except I haven’t seen him in a movie yet.
Grant Morrison, if you aren’t a comic reader, is probably best known for introducing surrealism to the superhero genre. He reinvented Doom Patrol, and invented some really bad baddies, especially the Little Sisters of Our Lady of the Razor, and the Pale Police. Purists might argue that the glory should go to Frederico Fellini for ‘Trip to Tulum’, but we are talking superheroes.
Aside from the Little Sisters, the first apparently Catholic supervillains, the one character that sticks with me is Danny the Street. Danny is a sentient street, who also happens to be a transvestite: all the windows in the shops along Danny the Street, even the gun shop, are curtained in chintz.
Offbeat - 02 February 2012
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- Pierre Maré
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